I'm sitting on a plane to Kentucky. We've now been traveling 27 hours. Only an hour and a half before we see family once again. As I look back over these last two weeks, I am convicted by what a lack of faith I've shown. From the moment we got into Beijing and our connecting flight was cancelled, until we sat in the Hong Kong airport and I worried how Emma would do getting on the airplane, I consistently failed to trust the One who brought us on this journey in the first place. My devotion this morning talked about how, if God cares even for the sparrows, and He loves us so much more, why should we worry? Also, what good does it do to worry when we aren't in control in the first place?
It is though I have been looking at a single brush stroke these past fourteen days, focusing on nothing but a small drop of paint, when I should have been thinking of the beautiful canvas He was painting. I failed to look beyond myself, trying to be self sufficient, when I was never created for that. I am here to glorify the Lord, not be safe or comfortable, or in control. Some of the things I was concerned about came true. We had some tough days, but He was there throughout each of them- carrying us. Many things I worried about never came to fruition. I've been almost sick for days thinking that Emma might make such a scene at the Hong Kong airport that we would not have been allowed to board. Instead, she has smiled, held my hand and laid her head on my shoulder (both a first!) several times today. Who but God!!!!