We stayed up later last night, and had an early wake up this morning, so at this moment everyone is taking a nap but me. I thought this would be a good time to share a little of our trip while it is still fresh in my mind.
I am so glad we brought Elli. She has been such a blessing-never once complaining about all the inconveniences that this trip has brought. She is a gentle soul, and is willing to help in whatever way is needed. She has done so well with Erin and Meimei. It is a blessing that she was able to come with us.
Erin continues to amaze us with how much she knows and her thirst to learn more. She is constantly asking questions, not just about what is going on here, but also about animals, the climate in Africa, etc. She has a thirst for knowledge. She is slowly becoming more affectionate. She tells us often she loves us, and is starting to give us hugs and kisses. You can tell this is not a normal thing for her. It is still awkward seeming, like learning to do something new, but she is trying. They are not affectionate here in China like they are at home, but she obviously wants that affirmation and closeness. We are letting her adjust to us at her own speed, but it is a good thing to see her warming up. It has been more difficult to find ways to bond because we are limited on games and such that we can use as a bridge to connect us. Once we get home, we’ll have more resources to use, plus Xiaoyun to translate.
It seems as though Meimei has been our daughter forever. She is so comfortable with us, and her personality is shining through. She is playful and quick to tease with Virgil. Busy is her middle name. Her information said she was social, and it was right on target. She told us both- in English- this morning that she loved us. Melted our hearts. She and Erin have started communicating more, and she has really attached to Elli. One of the children in our group is in a wheelchair, and when she realized the dad was trying to get the wheelchair open, she hurried over to help. She will watch what is going on and when she sees a need she will start helping in whatever way she can.
Though the girls have done well, it has been a hard trip. I will confess that there has been more than one time I’ve shed tears. There has been more than one time I’ve thought I can’t do this (from parenting more children, to physically caring for more kids). There has been more than one time that I’ve said absolutely no way I can do this again. And I know that once I am home, I will go through these same emotions again. It is a scary thing to add more children to your family, even when you are sure God has called you to this. So many ‘what ifs’ and ‘am I capable?’ that swirl through my mind. It is a daunting thought to think about teaching a child a new way of life. Will I be able to meet their needs? Will I be able to juggle the laundry, schoolwork, meals, etc for 7 girls? Will I be able to give them each the time and love they need? Will I be the godly example they each deserve?
The answer is no.
No I can’t.I know this, and it is what frightens me at times. But I also know that God set this plan in motion. He has placed each of our children in our family- through birth and adoption. He knows I am weak, and that is where He wants me to be, for it is in my weakness that His strength can shine through. Just as the Israelites were only given enough manna each morning for that day, I, too, must trust Him for my ‘daily bread’. I know He is faithful, and I am so thankful His mercies are new every morning