We live in an upside-down world.
Why is it, that when you tell someone you’re adopting, you MANY TIMES get either a negative response or an indifferent one?
If I was telling someone I was buying a new car, moving to a new house, my husband was getting a promotion, a raise, or even won a trip in some give-away, they’d be excited.
But telling people you’re adopting usually seems to go something like this:
“Really? How many will that make?”
“How in the world are you going to pay for that?”
“You’re a little old for that..”
“Are you sure you have thought this through?”
“Where in the world are you going to put them?”
“Don’t you think you have enough?”
There are also the looks of surprise, the looks that say we’re crazy, the long pause on the other end of the phone while they try to think of something to say, etc.
I usually move on without answering the questions, or give a quick answer, and try to change the subject. But today my heart wants to say what it is feeling.
How many -This will make me the mother of NINE children. Three are now grown, but I am fully aware that I have five at home and adding one more will make six.
Paying for it- We have been married 31 years. We have paid our bills on time – every time- by God’s grace Virgil has held a steady job throughout our marriage. We didn’t have much money when first married, and we learned quickly to budget. Though the pay has increased, our desire to live on a budget, and within our means, has remained. We do not have a lot of debt and we try to be good stewards of the money God gives us. God has provided in different ways for our other adoptions, and since He is calling us to do this, we know He’ll continue to be faithful in providing.
Besides all that – I am almost 50 years old and Virgil will soon be 52. We are not children who haven’t considered the financial part of things.
Also, since I am on the subject of age-
Yes, I am quite aware of my age. I realize that as our children grow into adulthood, that I may not be around to hold their children. Even so, I HAVE HELD MY CHILDREN, and they in turn will know how to love and nurture their own. None of us is guaranteed another day on this earth. For as long as I am here, I will love and encourage my children, and when I am gone, they will still have a large extended family that will continue to love them.
Thinking it through- We have thought this through more times than you can imagine. We have looked at all the facets, counted all the costs (I’m not just talking financial), and prayed over this decision for a while. This is not a flippant decision made on a whim. We are fully aware of the changes this will make. After all, we are the ones living it. We aren’t new to adopting, and we’re not new to children with special needs. I am the one who cares for the kids every day, takes them to every doctor appointment, sits through every surgery, wipes away the tears, fixes every meal, and washes every piece of clothing a family of our size goes through in a day. I am not wearing rose-colored glasses.
Room for another- our newest daughter will share a bedroom with her sisters that are almost the same age. I’d venture to guess that many other people shared bedrooms growing up and turned out fine. We’re probably one of the very few countries in the world that have such large houses for so few people. A smaller house allows us to be together more. We make efficient use of the space we have.
Enough kids- When I was growing up, I planned on having 3 kids. That held true for many years. But God had other plans. If you came to our house, you would see joyful children who love life. If you asked them, they would tell you they are LOVED. In many cultures a large family is a blessing. In our home, A LARGE FAMILY IS A BLESSING!!!!!!!
How many is enough? However many God says is enough. He now sets the number for the size of our household. Granted, our girls may not be able to do dance lessons, take lots of trips, or a plethora of other things kids in a smaller household could afford to do, but at the end of life, they will be able to say that we introduced them to God, tried to be a godly example for them, and encouraged them to live life fully.
Let’s also remember that if they hadn’t been adopted, they would never have had those opportunities either, and I can guarantee that those aren’t the things they were wanting.
THEY WERE WANTING A FAMILY! THEY WERE WANTING TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE CARED ABOUT THEM! THAT THEY MATTERED!!!
Which leads me to the why- When I am asked “why?” what I want to reply back with isWHY NOT?
Why not open our hearts and homes to a child who has waited years for love? Why not spend our money to make a difference instead of on that new car, or new home, or vacation? All those things will be gone in the blink of an eye. Only the difference we make in another’s life can last through eternity.
Showing them Christ’s love – there is no better thing we can do with our time and money.
God has called us to adopt again. We live in a world that thinks this is foolish, but-
“But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty” 1 Cor 1:27
We are thankful and EXCITED to bring another child home. Soon there will be ONE LESS ORPHAN!!!